I'm past the nothing, at my everything.
So are the Camper.
But that's okay; I know how to defeat them once and for all.
I approach my home and am now surrounded.
'You're mine now, slender man', says she.
'Not so fast', I reply, 'for I have something important to tell you'.
'What is it?' she interrogates.
'The reason why you haven't replaced all water on this planet . . . ', I begin.
She recoils in horror, for I am about to kill her for ever.
'. . . is that that would kill all suspense in this story', I finish, proudly standing at my full height.
'Impossible!' she booms, before all Camper close their eyes and fall backwards, dead due to convoluted meta bullshit.
I enter the doorway to my old home, triumphant.
I am the slender man, and this was my story.