I'm past the nothing, at my everything.
So are the Camper.
But that's okay; I know how to defeat them once and for all.
I approach my home and am now surrounded.
'You're mine now, slender man', says she.
'Not so fast', I reply, 'for I have something important to tell you'.
'What is it?' she interrogates.
'The reason why you haven't replaced all water on this planet . . . ', I begin.
She recoils in horror, for I am about to kill her for ever.
'. . . is that that would kill all suspense in this story', I finish, proudly standing at my full height.
'Impossible!' she booms, before all Camper close their eyes and fall backwards, dead due to convoluted meta bullshit.
I enter the doorway to my old home, triumphant.
I am the slender man, and this was my story.
There are Camper Everywhere, so in the Mean Time I'm Going Back to My Old Style for Post Titles: Paeoniae Exercitu
Ah, yes, a post title in Latin. I've missed doing that; I haven't done that since I posted my mugshot on my old blog.
Good times, that.
Anyway, back to the story at hand.
There are Camper everywhere around me.
I can't say I'm surprised; they knew I would be coming back here after my escape from Empty City, WA prison.
They seem to have taken my old house as their base of operations here.
I'll have to come up with a plan to get rid of them.
'Til then, though, they'll never find me.
Good times, that.
Anyway, back to the story at hand.
There are Camper everywhere around me.
I can't say I'm surprised; they knew I would be coming back here after my escape from Empty City, WA prison.
They seem to have taken my old house as their base of operations here.
I'll have to come up with a plan to get rid of them.
'Til then, though, they'll never find me.
Homecoming
I've made it back to the Black Forest.
It feels good to be back; it's been too long.
I think I should look for my old house; y'know, the one I borrowed with no intention of returning from those cultists way back when.
I don't know where I am in relation to the house, but that's okay.
I've got all the time in the world now.
It feels good to be back; it's been too long.
I think I should look for my old house; y'know, the one I borrowed with no intention of returning from those cultists way back when.
I don't know where I am in relation to the house, but that's okay.
I've got all the time in the world now.
One Fallen Angel's Spell is That Same Fallen Angel's Sick Joke
Okay hang on, why am I on The Path of Black Leaves.
Why am I here, this isn't what I had requested.
. . . more importantly, why didn't I think of this in the first place.
Well, time to get walking, I suppose.
Why am I here, this isn't what I had requested.
. . . more importantly, why didn't I think of this in the first place.
Well, time to get walking, I suppose.
One Slender Man's Task is That Same Slender Man's Salvation
I know what it is that I am to do.
There is a certain Camper lurking nearby; they are to be my prey, and their blood is to be the source of vim for my interdimensional travel.
They are in my sight.
'Who goes there?' they ask no one.
'No blogger,' I respond.
'Your voice is familiar,' they utter.
'Oh, I know,' I imply.
'I know who you are; come out and face me'.
I remain hidden. We are in a forest; I blend in perfectly against the trees.
'Before I do, I have but a question for you,' I expostulate.
'Out with it,' they moan.
'Tell me the name your body owned before your assimilation,' I roar.
'Wait what the fuck why,' they stutter.
'I feel a strange compulsion to know,' I gesture.
'Okay, fine. It was Erina'.
I strike, conjuring slenderbranch after slenderbranch, and my target is no more.
'Your blood is mine,' I say, vampirically.
There is a certain Camper lurking nearby; they are to be my prey, and their blood is to be the source of vim for my interdimensional travel.
They are in my sight.
'Who goes there?' they ask no one.
'No blogger,' I respond.
'Your voice is familiar,' they utter.
'Oh, I know,' I imply.
'I know who you are; come out and face me'.
I remain hidden. We are in a forest; I blend in perfectly against the trees.
'Before I do, I have but a question for you,' I expostulate.
'Out with it,' they moan.
'Tell me the name your body owned before your assimilation,' I roar.
'Wait what the fuck why,' they stutter.
'I feel a strange compulsion to know,' I gesture.
'Okay, fine. It was Erina'.
I strike, conjuring slenderbranch after slenderbranch, and my target is no more.
'Your blood is mine,' I say, vampirically.
Re: Birth
Fallen angel, I have come to you to ask for aid.
I require passage back to the Black Forest.
The Camper are the water; they would surely apprehend me if I were to attempt to travel by boat.
I am ready to pay any price for your power.
I require passage back to the Black Forest.
The Camper are the water; they would surely apprehend me if I were to attempt to travel by boat.
I am ready to pay any price for your power.
A Digression 2: I Have the Best Plan
Okay, 'Punch Myself in the Eyes', here's how this is going to fucking go:
1) I'm going to have my retribution in a way which you shall soon see.
2) It's going to be fucking glorious and will be the greatest insult in the entire fucking history of gog damned insults.
3) You will weep in an agonising pain.
4) I will have a good laugh at your expense.
5) You will leave the Blogosphere forever with a sense of shame so fucking great that you will never write again and your English degree will be rendered pointless.
Hoo hoo hoo.
1) I'm going to have my retribution in a way which you shall soon see.
2) It's going to be fucking glorious and will be the greatest insult in the entire fucking history of gog damned insults.
3) You will weep in an agonising pain.
4) I will have a good laugh at your expense.
5) You will leave the Blogosphere forever with a sense of shame so fucking great that you will never write again and your English degree will be rendered pointless.
Hoo hoo hoo.
A Digression: Okay Hang On Who the Fuck is 'Punch Myself in the Eyes' and Why are They Calling Me Out and Why Should I Give a Shit
Okay seriously what the fuck, I'm taking a bit of a break from writing this story and some blogger motherfucker thinks they can just come in a attack me for it.
Gog damn I hate the internet some time, I can see why Magreat takes his sweet time in his writing and escapes to the side (steps to the side, if you will, see fucker I can make clever puns, too), this is bullshit and I hate everything.
Gog damn I hate the internet some time, I can see why Magreat takes his sweet time in his writing and escapes to the side (steps to the side, if you will, see fucker I can make clever puns, too), this is bullshit and I hate everything.
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